My self esteem has been going down the drain, bit by bit. I can’t seem to think straight, with anything anymore. My persevering has stopped almost completely and I have left no trail of consistency. The motivation is still there, but trapped somewhere in the world of god knows where in a little corner of my brain. I’ve been lazing around whenever I have time to give up to myself, and I’ve only been losing myself. I’ve been doing everything half-assed and can’t get myself to grow out of this phase. I wish I’d look a little more decent whenever I go out, as I am constantly muttering to myself insults of those that are only kept solely to my own self. My eating habits have been going haywire, eating things I am allergic to just because I “feel like it”. Sleeping later than usual just because I can. Waking up when the sun is about to set. Teasing myself, looking at things I can only look at, and will never be able to grasp,rather buy. All of this adds up to the aching intangible pain that is sitting in the center of my chest; and it’s yelling at me to quit this nonsense and to go die or fix myself up instead. I really need a month to call my own, I need to start acting like myself again.